Don't Give Up On Me
by Traci
Summary: Mid-Metamorphosis - When Sam is returned both she and Jack must face the possibility she may not make it this time.


Disclaimer:  Not mine, never have been... sadly.

Spoilers:  Metamorphosis (season 6) - filler scene.

Rating:  PG

Category: S/J UST

Summary:  When Sam is returned from Nirrti, both she and Jack must face the real possibility this is the end for her.

Author:  Traci

Notes:  That one scene really hit me (won't give away which in case someone didn't see it) and then I searched online for fanfic and I couldn't find any!!!!!  UGH!!!  So I wrote one myself hehehe.

Feedback always welcome at:  traci_ann@yahoo.com

Don't Give Up On Me 

Jack's POV

I could lose her this time.  Sure, there have been close calls before but this... this is different.  She admitted to me she's not alright and it scared me.

Terrified me.

In her eyes I can see it.  

Pain.

Fear.

Regret.

Regret.  I almost laugh out loud.  I know she sees the same in my eyes as I look at her.  

We've seen the results of this experiment.

A puddle of water.

Is water all I will have left of her?  Water and memories and... and regrets?

We've done so well over the last year or so.  So well at hiding our feelings.  At keeping our distance.  We've done so well that we almost lost our friendship.  But with work we brought the balance back.  We're the way we used to be only with the knowledge of certain feelings.

Feelings.

Me, Jack O'Neill, admitting to having feelings like a teenager.  Funny really.  Well, it would be if Sam weren't shivering beside me bringing back the reality of the situation.

I should have killed Nirrti when I had the chance.  

I will kill her if I get the chance again.

But that won't help Sam.  Usually I'm able to rant and rave about how the Tokr'a or Asgards owe us and they should heal her.  Usually she is in the very capable hands of Doc Fraiser.

Not this time.

I can't even offer a small smile as I watch her shift trying to hide her pain and fear from me.

She should know by now she can't hide from me.

I feel it too.

As a shiver runs through her it runs through me as well.

"Get some rest," I tell her.

She looks at me and I read her thoughts.  She needs to know all that is happening.  It's the scientist in her.  I use my ace.

"That's an order."  Yet for some reason my voice betrays me.  There is no authority in it.  Just a small plea.

She takes a deep breath and looks to Teal'c.  I don't know why.  My eyes stay on her.

My heart swells and breaks all in the same moment as she lays her head on my shoulder. 

It must be worse than I thought.

During her worst injuries or illnesses off-world she would never lower her guard.  Never allow anyone to see a moment of what she would consider weakness.  Never risk reprimand for inappropriate behavior towards a commanding officer.

I fight the tears.

I know.

I know she believes she is going to die.

And a part of me will die with her.

In a quick glance I see Teal'c has turned his back to us, giving us privacy.  He is a good friend.  He never questioned.  He was there when we were forced to admit our feelings to each other.  And he never judged.  Never.

I wonder if the same thing is happening to Jonas.  I wonder if he will be in as bad of shape when he is returned - if he is returned.

Quickly my attention returns to Sam as her head shifts on my shoulder.  This shouldn't happen to her.  Why does everything always seem to happen to her?

Sure, Danny had his share of injuries and misfortunes but, well, with Sam it's always been different.  Sam has always seemed to be hit more emotionally.  From Jolinar to... Okay, that's not fair to Danny.  He lost his wife.  He died a few times.  But Sam... She always seems to take it on herself to protect us in her own way.  If something goes wrong she tries the hardest to make it right.  Have I ever let her know how much I appreciate her?

Gurgling?  There's no well or sink in here.

Teal'c turns to face us.

Sam lifts her head.

My heart sinks.

We all turn in time to see it.

I look back to Sam who is still staring at the remaining puddle of water of what used to be our colleague  

Not her.  

Please, anything in this or any other world, but not Sam.

Sam's POV

It hurts.

I don't know what she did, but it hurts.

But I have to be strong.  I could feel it in his touch as he led me to the concrete slab.  He's worried.

This is beyond the strength I have.

He had tried to convince me I was going to be alright.  

I wanted to believe him.  I really did.  I wanted him to believe it.

But I couldn't.  I didn't.  And I told him so.

Never have I seen Jack O'Neill so scared.

To tell the truth.  I'm terrified.  I don't want to burst into a puddle of water.  I... I can't desert him.  I can't leave them all behind.

I don't want to.

It's a small comfort having Jack with me in the same cell.  If there had been bars separating us...  I don't want to think about it.  He's here sitting next to me and right now that's all that matters.

Tired.

I'm so tired and cold.  I try to hide the shivers.  I try to hide the pain.  I don't know why anymore.  I guess I just know he doesn't need to see it.

And I don't want him to.

But one shiver I can't hide.  

He asks me.

I gather my strength and tell him I'm fine.

He doesn't believe me.  I'm not surprised.  He has always seemed to know me.

"Get some rest," he tells me.  But I can't.  If all three of us work on it maybe we can find a way out.  At least they would be able to get away.  

I'd smile if this weren't such a grave situation when he tells me it's an order.

I look to Teal'c.  I'm not really sure why.  Perhaps to gain his approval for me to, show some small level of emotion, some small hint to Jack that I do still have feelings for him.

Teal'c, almost as if reading my mind, gives a slight nod and turns away to give us privacy.

Should I do this?

It's not much but I know it will assure him my feelings haven't changed.

So I do.

I lean over and rest my head on his shoulder.  

He doesn't move away.

He doesn't flinch.

I don't want to leave him.

I close my eyes for a moment then re-open them just to assure myself he is really there... and hope that the bars to our prison are gone.

Giving in to the moment of just being happy to be here with him like this, I close my eyes again and feel myself quickly dozing off.  

It is only his movement that awakens me moments later.

Then I hear it.

The gurgling.

I don't want to see it.

I will live it.

Slowly, I turn my head just as...

I don't want that to happen to me.  The thought quickly crosses my mind to ask Jack to kill me first but I can't.  I can't do that to him.  

I won't.

I continue to stare at the puddle of water but I feel his eyes on me.

It can't end this way.

I feel his hand on my arm.  I turn and our eyes meet.

I'm so tired.

So very tired.

The End


End file.
